Monday, January 25, 2010

Boys of the World. Specifically YOU.

To you dumb bunny boys. These are the rules of dealing with the members of our apartment.

NO way should you ever:
1. Follow us home, invite yourself over, or force your company on us in anyway. Don't even ask if you're invited. We will invite you if we want you.
2. Touch one of my roommates in a way that makes her or anyone around her uncomfortable. That means all of you and any kind of uncomfortableness.
3. Expect anything. You are entitled to courtesy (most of the time) and that's about it.
4. Be annoying. If we don't sound happy, it's probably your fault. (Harsh? Yes, but recently this has been the case.)
5. Introduce the topic of marriage, make a statement about "girls" every other sentence, or in general imply that there are specific things the female gender shouldn't do. Yes, we hear about most all of those things in Relief Society. We don't need it from guys who have no idea what they're talking about.

You really really super should:
1. Treat us like ladies. Not that you have to open doors for us or anything like that, but giving up your seat when there aren't enough, that's what gets you bonus points.
2. Make us food. We feed you often enough. (Come to think of it, maybe your food isn't sanitary.)
3. Invite US over to YOUR apartment every once in a while. Sheesh!
4. Ask us on dates. NO, we don't want to be your girlfriends, but we're not completely heartless. It's your job to ask us. Unless we have a legitimate reason to say no, we'll probably agree to go AND at least pretend to have a good time. (For the record: first comes non-steady dating, then comes bf/gf grossness, then comes "affectionate touch" and the big three words, then maybe eventually not likely comes something more. Undying love is not where it starts. I thought I should clarify that for a certain someone.)
5. Have your own friends. You can even introduce them to us if you want us to be THAT included in your life (as it appears you do.)


Laura Johnson approves of this message.